Setiap pasangan yang berkahwin, pasti inginkan kemanisan yang berpanjangan dalam rumahtangga yang dibinanya. Persefahaman dan sikap toleransi antara suami isteri amat penting dalam memastikan kerukunan di dalam sesebuah rumahtangga. Pelbagai masalah akan timbul baik dari segi kewangan, cara kehidupan, dan sebagainya. Tetapi setiap pasangan haruslah bersikap terbuka dan menerima segala perubahan dengan positif. Bagi mengekalkan kemanisan tersebut, anda boleh cuba mengamalkan sepuluh tips berikut:
1. Ciuman - Mulakan setiap hari baru anda dengan ciuman. Ciuman merupakan hadiah yang paling berharga untuk dihadiahkan kepada pasangan anda. Dengan ciuman anda akan rasa dihargai oleh pasangan anda.
2. Cincin/gelang/rantai etc perkahwinan - Pakailah cincin perkahwinan anda setiap masa. Anda akan berasa dekat dengan pasangan anda setiap kali melihat cincin tersebut.
3. Makan malam atau bercuti - Rancangkan makan malam atau bercuti ke tempat-tempat menarik bersama pasangan anda, sekurang-kurangnya sebulan sekali, bagi merapatkan lagi hubungan anda suami isteri.
4. Perubahan - Setiap mereka yang mendirikan rumahtangga pasti akan mengalami perubahan dari segi fizikal dan mental. Ini kerana mereka akan terikat dengan ibubapa, isteri, anak-anak, masalah kewangan, kerja dan sebagainya. Oleh itu anda perlu menerima dengan positif perubahan tersebut.
5. Adab - Dalam menjaga keharmonian berumahtangga, anda harus beradab (menghormati) pasangan anda. Adab itu perlulah dijaga, supaya tidak menyakiti hati pasangan anda.
6. Lemah-lembut dan berbudi bahasa - Bagi kaum isteri, berlemah-lembutlah dalam perbuatan dan berbudi bahasalah dalam percakapan. Suara dan kata-kata yang lembut akan membuatkan suami anda rasa disayangi.
7. Hadiah - Berikan hadiah kepada pasangan anda sewaktu hari-hari pentingnya, seperti hari lahirnya, valentine, hari ulangtahun perkahwinan dan sebagainya. Apabila anda menghadiahkan sesuatu pada hari bermakna pasangan anda, mereka akan merasakan anda sentiasa mengingati hari tersebut.
8. Senyum - Kata orang senyum itu sedekah, jadi tidak ada salahnya jika anda tersenyum pada pasangan anda setiap hari, bagi menyatakan rasa kasih dan sayang anda kepadanya.
9. Sentuhan - Sentuhan boleh menyatakan perasaan anda kepada pasangan anda. Jika anda tidak dapat meluahkan perasaan sayang anda dengan perkataan, luahkan dengan sentuhan. Pasti pasangan anda akan memahaminya.
10. Impian - Setiap orang ada impiannya, begitu juga bagi mereka yang telah berumahtangga, pasti ada impian yang masih belum tertunai. Ceritakan impian anda kepada pasangan anda, supaya dia dapat membantu anda dalam mencapai impian tersebut.
Anda pasti ingin dihargai dan menghargai. Selamat mencuba tips-tips ini, semoga anda akan beroleh kemanisan yang berpanjangan dalam rumahtangga anda. Selamat mencuba!!
Ni ako dpt dr email yg Nor (sepupu ako) kasik.. copy paste jela nih...
Showing posts with label general. Show all posts
Showing posts with label general. Show all posts
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Thursday, January 13, 2005
5 GOLDEN RULES FOR FINDING YOUR LIFE PARTNER
A relationships coach lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term marital success. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake.Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Ms.Right!
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love."
I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come.
Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on Love alone. You need a lot more. Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.
QUESTION 1: * Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together?
You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life bottom line-and marry someone who Wants the same thing.
QUESTION 2:
* Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.
Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.
A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings.
Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.
QUESTION 3:
* Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test?
Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing."
So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.
There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth, and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
QUESTION 4:
* How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as a waiters, bus boy, taxi driver, etc. How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you--who can't do nearly as much for them!
You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION 5:
* Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married.
As a colleague of Mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage ... for the worse!"
If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.
CONCLUSION
In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous.
The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework
copy and paste from http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sttj9596/
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love."
I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come.
Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on Love alone. You need a lot more. Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.
QUESTION 1: * Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together?
You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life bottom line-and marry someone who Wants the same thing.
QUESTION 2:
* Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.
Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.
A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings.
Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.
QUESTION 3:
* Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test?
Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing."
So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.
There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth, and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
QUESTION 4:
* How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as a waiters, bus boy, taxi driver, etc. How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you--who can't do nearly as much for them!
You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION 5:
* Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married.
As a colleague of Mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage ... for the worse!"
If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.
CONCLUSION
In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous.
The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework
copy and paste from http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sttj9596/
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Edisi Lawak: Menantu oh menantu
Samat baru sahaja berkahwin. Kerana tidak mempunyai rumah, dia terpaksa menumpang di rumah bapa mertuanya. Malangnya, ada sesuatu yang tidak kena. Samat ni kuat sangat makan. Bapa mertuanya selalu merungut. Beras 20kg, tak sampai seminggu dah habis. Selalu tak macam ini. Sejak Samat duduk di rumahnya... cepat sangat barang-barang dapur habis. Samat betul-betul 'menghabiskan borehhh...'
Kebaikan Samat pula ialah, dia ni alim sikit. Tak pernah tinggal sembahyang. Malangnya bapa mertuanya tak pulak begitu... Waktu maghrib seronok depan tv tengok roda impian... lepas tu sambung tengok berita... lepas tu makan... lepas tu tidur.. esok bangun pukul 8... pergi kedai kopi... bersembang, sampai tengahari.
Balik makan, kemudian tidur... petang pergi kedai kopi lagi... main dam, berborak mengalahkan orang politik.
Kerana sama-sama ada kekurangan ni lah yang menyebabkan si menantu tak berani menasihati bapa mertua, dan bapa mertua tak berani memarahi anak menantu yang kuat makan. Tetapi dia terus mencari idea... macam mana nak kenakan si Samat ni.. Bengang betul dia... dah lah tak kerja... melantak kuat pulak tu... Suatu hari dia dapat idea... nak kenakan Samat.. "Samat, mari kita main dam haji..." katanya kepada Samat... "Boleh juga..." kata Samat tanpa mengesyaki sesuatu.
Bila sahaja bermain, dia sengaja membiarkan buah damnya dimakan oleh Samat... Dia hulur, Samat makan, hulur lagi... Samat makan lagi... hulur lagi makan lagi, dan lagi... dan lagi... "Eh ko ni Samat... kuat betul makan laa... agak-agak laa..." katanya tersenyum.. "Alamak bapak mertua aku ni perli aku ni... mentang-mentang aku kuat makan.." fikirnya dalam hati... tapi tak apa... Mereka bermain set kedua... bapa mertuanya hulur... dia tak makan... hulur lagi, tak makan juga... kena tangkap... tak macam set pertama... dia dah bijak sikit... Bila tak makan, mestilah kena tangkap...(sesiapa tak tahu main dam haji tentu tak faham cerita ini...) kemudian bapa mertuanya dapat melangkah hingga ke haji... Apa lagi.... "Ehh orang tak pernah sembahyang pun boleh pergi haji ke...?" Merah padam muka bapa mertuanya... dia nak perli anak menantunya, tetapi dia yang terkena....
Selepas dari itu, Samat tak lagi kuat makan dan bapa mertuanya dah jadi alim... tak tinggal sembahyang lagi... sekarang ni ada kat Mekah kerjakan umrah... Nak pergi haji belum sampai seru... katanya laa...
Moral cerita : Jangan malu nak menegur kesilapan orang lain, jika untuk kebaikan
copy and paste dr email
Kebaikan Samat pula ialah, dia ni alim sikit. Tak pernah tinggal sembahyang. Malangnya bapa mertuanya tak pulak begitu... Waktu maghrib seronok depan tv tengok roda impian... lepas tu sambung tengok berita... lepas tu makan... lepas tu tidur.. esok bangun pukul 8... pergi kedai kopi... bersembang, sampai tengahari.
Balik makan, kemudian tidur... petang pergi kedai kopi lagi... main dam, berborak mengalahkan orang politik.
Kerana sama-sama ada kekurangan ni lah yang menyebabkan si menantu tak berani menasihati bapa mertua, dan bapa mertua tak berani memarahi anak menantu yang kuat makan. Tetapi dia terus mencari idea... macam mana nak kenakan si Samat ni.. Bengang betul dia... dah lah tak kerja... melantak kuat pulak tu... Suatu hari dia dapat idea... nak kenakan Samat.. "Samat, mari kita main dam haji..." katanya kepada Samat... "Boleh juga..." kata Samat tanpa mengesyaki sesuatu.
Bila sahaja bermain, dia sengaja membiarkan buah damnya dimakan oleh Samat... Dia hulur, Samat makan, hulur lagi... Samat makan lagi... hulur lagi makan lagi, dan lagi... dan lagi... "Eh ko ni Samat... kuat betul makan laa... agak-agak laa..." katanya tersenyum.. "Alamak bapak mertua aku ni perli aku ni... mentang-mentang aku kuat makan.." fikirnya dalam hati... tapi tak apa... Mereka bermain set kedua... bapa mertuanya hulur... dia tak makan... hulur lagi, tak makan juga... kena tangkap... tak macam set pertama... dia dah bijak sikit... Bila tak makan, mestilah kena tangkap...(sesiapa tak tahu main dam haji tentu tak faham cerita ini...) kemudian bapa mertuanya dapat melangkah hingga ke haji... Apa lagi.... "Ehh orang tak pernah sembahyang pun boleh pergi haji ke...?" Merah padam muka bapa mertuanya... dia nak perli anak menantunya, tetapi dia yang terkena....
Selepas dari itu, Samat tak lagi kuat makan dan bapa mertuanya dah jadi alim... tak tinggal sembahyang lagi... sekarang ni ada kat Mekah kerjakan umrah... Nak pergi haji belum sampai seru... katanya laa...
Moral cerita : Jangan malu nak menegur kesilapan orang lain, jika untuk kebaikan
copy and paste dr email
Edisi Lawak: Suami Isteri Jgn Tak Bertegur Sapa
Terjadi satu hari sepasang suami isteri ni berselisih faham...dan tak bertegur sapa.. Si suami ni nak bangun pagi pada esoknya..tak tahu macam mana nak bagitahu isteri supaya kejutkan dia pada pagi esoknya.. Si suami ni dapat idea..lalu dia tulis satu nota
"KEJUTKAN ABANG!! PUKUL 6.30 PAGI ESOK"
Esoknya si suami ni terlewat bangun... dia nak marah pun ada ... nak ketawa pun ada kat isterinya. Nak tahu kenapa?... si suami ni terjumpa nota
"BANG!! BANG!! BANGUN BANG! DAH PUKUL 6.30 PAGI
copy dr email kawan ako foward...
"KEJUTKAN ABANG!! PUKUL 6.30 PAGI ESOK"
Esoknya si suami ni terlewat bangun... dia nak marah pun ada ... nak ketawa pun ada kat isterinya. Nak tahu kenapa?... si suami ni terjumpa nota
"BANG!! BANG!! BANGUN BANG! DAH PUKUL 6.30 PAGI
copy dr email kawan ako foward...
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